Latest popular funny jokes

I decided to make my password "incorrect" because if I type it in wrong, my computer will remind me, "Your password is incorrect."

A priest is sitting in a confession box and has to go to the bathroom. He calls an alter boy over and says, "I have to go pee and I need you to take over." Not knowing what to do, the alter boy asks for help. The priest says, "Just give them a few Hail Marys and send them on their way." Soon after, a blonde woman walks in the booth and says, "Forgive me father. I have committed a sin. I gave my boyfriend a blowjob." The alter boy is confused, so he asks another nearby alter boy, "What does the priest usually give for a blowjob?" The second alter boy replies, "I don't know about you, but my price is a candy bar and a Pepsi."

If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb up to your ego and jump down to your IQ level

A brunette goes into a doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it. "Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me." She takes her finger, presses on her elbow, and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams, and so it goes on; everywhere she touches makes her scream with pain. The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette are you?" She says, "No, I dyed my hair. I'm naturally blonde." "I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken."


Q: How can you tell a blonde has been having a bad day?
A: She has a tampon behind her ear and she can't find her pencil.


Yo momma's so fat that Mount Everest tried to climb her.


Q: Why did the boy eat his homework?
A: Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake.


Q: Why did the one armed man cross the road?
A: To get to the second hand shop.